Is single parenting really THAT different?

Mum quote

See how this says “mother”? It’s because it is the same for all mothers, single or otherwise

When I first started this blog, clearly, with a title like “mummyflyingsolo” I intended to write quite a bit about life as a single parent. I was pretty new to the team at that stage and figured I’d have plenty of fodder at the ready that could help other single parents too.

But here’s the thing. After doing this gig for about 2 years now I have learnt one thing and one thing only: parenting is parenting. It doesn’t matter who you do it with. It’s relentless and hard and you will have good days and bad. Just like all parents do.

I know parents in relationship that have a tougher time than I do.

I know other single parents that do it much tougher than me.

And we are all on the same journey: it’s called PARENTING.

That’s it. Continue reading

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My favourite fantasy

h-is-for-houseworkI have to say that, mostly, this solo parenting gig actually isn’t too bad. What? You’re surprised? Well it’s not. We have our little routine and the way we go about doing things; I don’t have to factor someone else’s decisions or preferences into choices I make at home; and if I don’t pick the toys up off the floor at the end of the day or we have toast for dinner then no one moans at me about it. Don’t get me wrong. Some days it is also really hard and I particularly notice this when I actually have someone around to help for a bit. It’s then that I have an aha moment and think “ooooohhhhh this is what it could be like with help. Wow!”. But for the most part we plod along ok. Sure I have my meltdowns but I don’t think they are exclusive to solo parenting. It’s more of a parenting in general thing.

Every now and then though when my house is trashed and I am doggone tired I plonk myself on the couch and allow myself to indulge in one of my favourite little fantasies: Continue reading

Mediation with the ex

mediation

Sleep completely evades me tonight. I have honestly never felt so awake in the middle of the night. So here I am blogging at stupid o’clock (3:30am in case you are wondering).

Well this is hardly a topic that warms the cockles of your heart, I know. It is an event that seems to make many people really nervous though so I wanted to give you a bit of a  run down on the off chance that someone out there is feeling nervous right now and needs it. Knowledge is power. Even though you can’t know the outcome of your mediation or what might be said on the day (unfortunately those pesky exes don’t run to script) you can at least have a pretty decent idea on the process and believe me, that alone is pretty powerful.

So I should mention first of all that my experience with mediation was in NSW, Australia so the process I describe here is specific to they way they do it. However, I have spoken to someone undergoing mediation in QLD and it sounds pretty similar. I think you will find that to be the case no matter where you go. After all, the intent is to achieve the same goal.

In some cases mediation will be court ordered but in our situation I elected to go. It makes no difference. Your process will be the same regardless.   Continue reading

Knowing when to put yourself in time out

Life is busy. Hell, sometimes mine feels crazy. These last few weeks I’ve taken on another blogging job plus started trying to blog regularly here, as well as my usual routine oftime out study, another blogging job and admin work from home. And I try to cram all of this into just two days per week when my son is at daycare and scraps of time here and there when he is sleeping. Oh and did I mention I also try to get to the gym on those two days and do the housework. Then the rest of the time I’m trying to do my best as a single mum. Needless to say, some weeks it just gets crazy. Now I don’t pretend that my life is any crazier than anyone else’s. Some people will be busier than me, some people will be less busy than me, but most people feel the pressure of a busy life one way or another so most of you know what I’m talking about.  This post is about a tactic I have started to use to deal with the stresses of life…knowing when to take time out. It’s my way to stop the crazy. Believe me, it works. I know you think you don’t have time but you don’t need much. You really don’t. And if you have a meltdown instead because you didn’t opt to take time out then I guarantee you it will take more time out of your life than what I’m suggesting. Meltdowns are like the ball rolling down the hill: it only gathers momentum.  Continue reading

The practicalities of not having a daddy around

So it has been ages since I’ve posted on this site. I ended up being swept off my feet by a big love from my past and all spare time and inspiration for this site seemed to fly right out the window. I ended that relationship after only a short time though and while that is unfortunate it has given me a lot of fodder for this blog!  Navigating the dating world as a single parent is a bit of a minefield.  There’s a lot to consider like whether or not they should meet children and what your ex thinks about that etc. I won’t go into all that now as there is another post right there but needless to say I’m back at the writing again.  For today I’ve got something a bit more fun to write about.  The COZY COUPE!

Continue reading