Is single parenting really THAT different?

Mum quote

See how this says “mother”? It’s because it is the same for all mothers, single or otherwise

When I first started this blog, clearly, with a title like “mummyflyingsolo” I intended to write quite a bit about life as a single parent. I was pretty new to the team at that stage and figured I’d have plenty of fodder at the ready that could help other single parents too.

But here’s the thing. After doing this gig for about 2 years now I have learnt one thing and one thing only: parenting is parenting. It doesn’t matter who you do it with. It’s relentless and hard and you will have good days and bad. Just like all parents do.

I know parents in relationship that have a tougher time than I do.

I know other single parents that do it much tougher than me.

And we are all on the same journey: it’s called PARENTING.

That’s it. Continue reading

I don’t want to live a double life

Living the life I choose

Living the life I choose

A couple of months ago I was invited to a party. It was a local party. I was invited by a girl I’d met only twice to the birthday of a girl I’d met only once. Well, when I say girl I mean female. But girl will do.

It was Monkey’s night with his dad so I was pretty happy to just stay in to be honest. I get 24 hours off per week where the time is just mine and I’m a little bit greedy with it. What I love to do is cook something a little bit fiddly that would normally be too longwinded to make while parenting (ok so sometimes I just order in pizza), catch up on shows/blogs/emails, sleep in, walk along the beach to the coffee shop and generally just hang out on my own. For awhile there I was dating quite a bit so would do a bit of that too but really, I’m totally ok with just hanging out on my own and relaxing.

Anyway that night I was feeling kind of social and decided Continue reading

“Ah, I see now. Because you are a single mom all men are shit?”

stupid peopleI had this delightful little line thrown at me in an online conversation recently. The conversation was about abortion so if you can see how this comment is relevant then please, fill me in. It was over a month ago and I’m still trying to figure it out.

It all happened around that time of the filibuster in Texas. Remember that? People were getting their pro life/pro choice swords out and waving them about for all to see. Everyone had an opinion. Continue reading

My favourite fantasy

h-is-for-houseworkI have to say that, mostly, this solo parenting gig actually isn’t too bad. What? You’re surprised? Well it’s not. We have our little routine and the way we go about doing things; I don’t have to factor someone else’s decisions or preferences into choices I make at home; and if I don’t pick the toys up off the floor at the end of the day or we have toast for dinner then no one moans at me about it. Don’t get me wrong. Some days it is also really hard and I particularly notice this when I actually have someone around to help for a bit. It’s then that I have an aha moment and think “ooooohhhhh this is what it could be like with help. Wow!”. But for the most part we plod along ok. Sure I have my meltdowns but I don’t think they are exclusive to solo parenting. It’s more of a parenting in general thing.

Every now and then though when my house is trashed and I am doggone tired I plonk myself on the couch and allow myself to indulge in one of my favourite little fantasies: Continue reading

Dating and the Single Parent

Oh. My. God. This topic is a doozy. And not for the reasons you might imagine. It’s not about how you might meet someone or how difficult it is to find the time to actually go on a date. Those things are tricky to negotiate, yes, but that’s not what has compelled me to write about this topic. The trickier thing, in my experience, is establishing with your ex when someone can be brought into your little one’s life.  For me it was a no brainer. You don’t introduce your child until you know it’s a thing. And when I say know, I mean know. None of this early oh how we adore each other stuff where you think you’ll be together forever but post honeymoon period phase really knowContinue reading