This week has been nothing short of batshit crazy. In preparation for a prenancy/baby/children’s expo next weekend I have been working overtime to get things done with the new business so that they are up to scratch and ready. I have easily worked a standard full time week and I’ve done it in between looking after a sick child at home for 2 days and the standard weekly crap in our always busy schedule. Continue reading
We went to one of those indoor playcentres today. You know the ones with ball pits and slippery slides and soft squishy lumps to clamber over. I’m not usually the biggest fan of them but I love this one as it’s nice and new and neither the toddler side nor the big kid side is too full on for Monkey.
There was one little kid there today getting a bit pushy with the other kids. Continue reading
I can’t believe I am doing this.
Right now I am feeling a mix of excited and traumatised which are two really weird emotions to be feeling at. the. same. time.
As I type this I am sipping on a steaming hot cup of coffee and eating what I think must be the world’s best bacon and egg roll (it has hollandaise on it people). To top it all off this is all taking place ringside to what is arguably one of the best views in the world: the airport.
Yup, the airport.
Some people like mountains, others like the sea, but me baby, I like the airport. I’m not sure what it is that stirs me so but it goes straight to my soul. It’s not just that I’m excited about going away. Airports rock my world even if I’m just dropping folks off or picking them up. Yeah I know. I’m weird like that.
For me, the airport represents a world of possibilities. It reminds me that the little plot I’m currently occupying is just that, a teeny tiny little plot and not the centre of the universe after all. It refreshes and invigorates me and gives me a thirst for life.
We actually live on the flight path for the local airport so I get to see planes flying over on a regular basis. I LOVE it. Every single one of them makes me smile and I don’t find them to be a bother at all.
Anyway I’m faffing on about airports when what I really wanted to talk about is the fact that I’m going on a holiday (woohoo!) but that it involves me being away from monkey for 2 whole weeks (boo).
I think it’s pretty fair to say that emotionally I’m like an unstable explosive at the moment. Freaking traun wreck. For the past few days I’ve been racing between feeling excited to see my brother and my friends to feeling traumatised about leaving my monkey. Boing, boing, back and forth, I’ve been picking up quite a pace.
I left in the early hours this morning so we had to do a pretend departure for Monkey last night. I even put my bag in the car to make it seem more real. He’s a cluey kid and wouldn’t have been easily fooled. He’d watched me pack and we’d been talking all day about mummy going on a plane and him staying with Oomah (my mum) and Didee (my aunt). We prepped him so well that he barely batted an eyelid when I left. I was trying so hard to give him a big squeezy hug and he just pushed me away and said “I stay Oomah. Bye, Mummy”.
So good. And sad. But good. And a relief.
I thought I’d cry at that point but I didn’t. The whole thing just felt really surreal. Plus I think I’ve had a mammoth amount of adrenaline coursing through my body this past 24 hours. Kinda makes it hard to feel things.
The tears came though. As I snuck out of the house this morning to get my airport transfer I felt like a naughty schoolgirl sneaking out to see her boyfriend. Pump, pump went the adrenaline. Once on the bus I started to catch up on my blog reading. I started reading this post by one of my blogging friends about the earthquake in her home town in the Phillipines last week (they’ve had thousands of aftershocks – weird) and promptly burst into big silent tears when I got to the bit where she is worrying about her son. It brought all of my fears to the surface and all of a sudden where I had been otherwise numb there was the biggest most overwhelming feeling ever. It was like someone was sucking the breath out of me and all I could think was What have I done?.
Well what I’ve done is leave Monkey with people who love him who are also very competent at looking after children. When my mum and aunt (who have raised 5 children between them) return home at the end of the week Monkey will go and stay with his dad, a very competent and loving father. It will all be ok. We will Skype and he will see me and we’ll blow kisses and it will all be fine. It’s not the moon, it’s just North America and worst comes to worst I can be back in 24 hours. I’m not THAT far away.
Besides, as I keep reminding myself, he’s 2. He will not even remember this when he is older.
So I put my head back and practised my deep breathing. Things were going to be ok.
And hey, I can’t say I’m not excited about two weeks of sleep ins. I mean, come on, I’m no fool. It’s the bomb.
Pre-baby most of us had certain ideas of what sort of children we would raise. Mine were going to be impeccably mannered little human beings because I was going to be a super dooper parent who never did any of these atrocious things those other slack arse parents do.
You let your 4 month old chew on your mobile phone? Oh nooooo. I would never. And I didn’t. But he got his mits on it eventually and I’ve done a bunch of other things that I’m sure have caused many an observer to shake their head and tsk tsk at me under their breath.
Two years into this parenting gig and I now know that we all do what we can to get by. And some days that involves TV all day and toast for dinner as much as I don’t want that to be how it rolls at our place. Some days it just kinda does. Continue reading
Having a bad day? Well here’s a tasty little morsel from my life to:
a) give you a laugh
b) make you feel clever
c) make you feel like your parenting skills are actually skills
Because at the moment, mine certainly aren’t. Continue reading
We were at swimming lessons this morning and I was bouncing around the pool with Monkey singing la la la la la to the tune of one of our lesson songs when Monkey said to me “No more song”. Just like that. Don’t you sing one more word there pretty lady.
Oooooook then. Thanks kiddo. Continue reading
I spend a lot of time talking about the weird things about parenting or the things that I don’t like about parenting. Not because I am a total whiner but because they are the things that are interesting to me. They make me laugh and, most of all, they offered me the most support when I was struggling as a new mum. Those blogs where people actually talked about the crap stuff made me realise I was normal and just like everyone else. That parenting was hard for many, not few.
Posts like that are a dime a dozen though right. Hell, I’ve even done one. Remember the 10 things I wasn’t prepared for as a parent? That’s one of those. So today I thought I’d do something different. Continue reading
To be honest, I have many confessions as a new mother. Like how I didn’t bond with my baby right away and how I hated breastfeeding and how some days I wish I was back in full time work as that would be waaaaaaay easier than trying to keep my almost 2 year old terror happy and under control. But they aren’t the confessions of this particular post.
This post is about how I have never felt so one dimensional in my life as I did after my baby was born. I had a one track mind and I felt powerless to do anything about it. You can read all the gory details in my guest post over at You and Baby. That cute little pic of me and my monkey below will zoom you right on over there as soon as you click on it so please, pop in, have a read and give me your thoughts.
It’s just a phase. It’s just a phase. It’s just a phase.
This was my mantra last week. Along with thank god he isn’t biting. You gotta look for the silver lining, right? Well that’s mine.
I actually wanted to write this post last week in the midst of the madness but I was so busy running interference with a little hair pulling demon that I didn’t get the chance. And I’m glad about that now as last week all I had was strategies and this week, I have results. Continue reading
A couple of months ago I was invited to a party. It was a local party. I was invited by a girl I’d met only twice to the birthday of a girl I’d met only once. Well, when I say girl I mean female. But girl will do.
It was Monkey’s night with his dad so I was pretty happy to just stay in to be honest. I get 24 hours off per week where the time is just mine and I’m a little bit greedy with it. What I love to do is cook something a little bit fiddly that would normally be too longwinded to make while parenting (ok so sometimes I just order in pizza), catch up on shows/blogs/emails, sleep in, walk along the beach to the coffee shop and generally just hang out on my own. For awhile there I was dating quite a bit so would do a bit of that too but really, I’m totally ok with just hanging out on my own and relaxing.
Anyway that night I was feeling kind of social and decided Continue reading