If this is having it all then it blows.

This week has been nothing short of batshit crazy. ย In preparation for a prenancy/baby/children’s expo next weekend I have been working overtime to get things done with the new business so that they are up to scratch and ready. I have easily worked a standard full time week and I’ve done it in between looking after a sick child at home for 2 days and the standard weekly crap in our always busy schedule.

Frankly, it has not been working for us.

This week the iPad has done my parenting for me. This week I almost left the house one day without feeding my child breakfast because my mind was so preoccupied. I’ve looked at the computer screen and my phone screen more than I’ve looked at my child. I’ve had him standing next to me trying desperately to draw my attention to something and I haven’t even really noticed…until he’s walked away. Then I notice because the noise has stopped. Then I’ve chased him and apologised and asked him to tell me his story but it’s really too late then, isn’t it. He has already been ignored. I’ve pretty much let him get away with blue murder as I feel like misbehaviour and trashing the joint is entirely reasonable because my attention has been focused on pretty much anything but him. If someone ignored me constantly I’d misbehave too. I have dished up tinned spaghetti and eggs for dinner one night and ordered in pizza on another.

Something is happening in my world, sure, but many things are suffering for it too. My parenting. My son. Our diets. My own well being.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster. We have done fun things too. We have been to Playgroup and Mother’s Group. We have played some games together and I’ve had him sleeping in my bed two of the four nights so far as I wanted to make sure he stayed warm when sick. He will also be in with me tonight (and you all know how I adore co-sleeping…). But still.

There. Is. No. Balance.

I feel like right now I am sacrificing developing my child’s potential in order to fulfill my own and it’s not a sacrifice I am willing to make on a continued basis.

Hats off to the mums out there who can do this. Who manage to have it all without too much negative impact to life (I say too much as everything has a degree of negative impact). This week I admire you. You give a new meaning to the term SUPER MUM. This shit is HARD.

Things will calm down here. The expo will pass and I’ll get to keep plodding along with starting this business at my own pace. But I am learning some valuable lessons this week. Like, fuck me but the iPad CAN babysit.

Props to Apple.

mfs brand


37 thoughts on “If this is having it all then it blows.

  1. The only people who “have it all” are the ones who get to pick exactly what “it all” means, and their kids are raised by nannies, so maybe “it all” isn’t that great anyhow. You can’t expect it not to blow when you’re running a business and have a sick kid at home at the same time. Look it up in the dictionary. Under synonyms, it will tell you “blows”.
    You’ll feel better when the kiddo feels better (and gets out of your hair.) .
    Love and kisses from far far away.

  2. It’s horrible isn’t it? It is so bloody difficult to find a balance between earning money and looking after your own children. I’ve tried working 5 mornings a week with 1 child, 3 full days a week and a small business at home with two children (that was sh*t), and am currently doing nothing for money and looking after the boys all day every day. Except I am a lot less fulfilled by that (hence the latest attempt at a balance of writing/blogging that I hope will work). I sometimes think if I didn’t have to sleep, I could have the best of both worlds. 8 hour work day for me, 13 hours with the kids. 3 hours to eat, wash and clean up. Meh. It’s rubbish. And yep – iPad + child is incredible when you need to get something done. I just freak myself out all the time about what the hell it is doing to their neural connections… but that’s just me, ha! Hope things settle soon xxx

    • Oh I freak myself out all the time about that sort of thing hence the stress attack. It doesn’t help that I’m not sleeping properly. So much on my mind that when I’m sleeping I’m still harping on in my head about what I’m worried about forgetting! Glad I’m not the only one who thinks it sucks!!! And yeah, your non sleeping version of the day sounds perfect to me! Lol

    • I tell myself that iPad is better than TV – at least it is interactive. Depending on what apps you have, it can be pretty good for when you’re desperate! Besides, if your kid was doing puzzles or drawing all day, would you stop him or worry about his brain? Plenty of that to be done on the iPad!

      • Yes this is all true and I’d be weaving myself that same line if I could get him to use the apps. But he is over the apps. The apps are passe. Instead he likes to watch YouTube videos. Which essentially is watching TV on the ipad *sigh*

  3. I don’t have a child but I have been in overdrive for the most part of last year trying to balance everything out. It didn’t work and I ended up making little progress in setting up the business end feeling overwhelmed and unhappy instead. There is just so much to do! I have learned a lot of valuable lessons though so it has not been waisted. Since last Month I have vowed to enjoy live much more. Now I enjoy too much and I am neglecting the business!

  4. I feel your pain, I really and truly do. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends and got myself sick as a result. We can’t do it all. And yet, somehow, we do.

  5. I am positive that balance will reappear, and Monkey won’t be adversely affected by this small blip in time ๐Ÿ™‚ Give yourself a break, it’s okay to focus on you and your dream of the new business, pretty soon you’ll find the balance!
    So, good luck on getting everything together for the event!

  6. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – there is no way I could have balanced my career with young kids. The only reason things worked out as well as they did is because I had my kids young, back when my work was “a job”, not yet a career. Having two little ones at home when I was working a 9-5 as an accountant was do-able. If I fast-forward that to 10 years later when I was knee deep in running a business for the technology behemoth….no way, Jose. Hubby had to step up and take on much more of the Mr. Mom role. The truth is, you can’t have it all, sadly. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  7. Your news business sounds exciting. When do we hear more? Your week sounds crazy but you survived. I seriously need to get a babysitter – er – I mean iPad!!!

  8. My thoughts are with you Rachael! My daughter is bringing up two kids alone at present and she had a melt-down on Thursday night. As I told her, being a parent is such hard hard work. Just be kind to yourself. This too will pass. Tess x

  9. Some weeks you just have to do what you have to do! And he will be just fine..he knows you love him and this is for him too. Good luck with the business and give yourself a bit of a break when it is done. xo

  10. You can do this! The expo will be over before you know it and life will calm down again! Then you will be “back in control.” (Well, lol, whatever that means! ๐Ÿ™‚ ). Good luck! Hugs to you and little one!

  11. Maximizing your child’s potential while having so much to do is extremely hard if not impossible. If you can power through this hard period better times will come.

  12. I thought iPads were actually invented as nannies for WAHMs weren’t they? I sure as shit know I couldn’t live without ours. I’m sure we’ll #%$^% them up whatever we do anyway, right?

  13. I think alot of people who look like they “have it all” are actually paddling with fury under the surface. No one has the have it all perfect life I think. We can all just do our best and hope its good enough which I’m sure 99% of the time it is. It is so important for children to have quality time with their family but also for them to have role models to look up to of which I’m sure seeing you start your own business and have a hardworking ethos goes a long long way to. Time will hep you find a balance. Good luck at the Expo!x

  14. I didn’t read all the comments, so someone may have said this already, but I imagine there is a learning curve with all of this. It will be hard for a while, but parenting and running your own business is a new skill set and all skill sets take time to acquire.

    I will say a prayer for you! XO

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