It’s here. It’s happening. Two whole weeks without my awesome 2 year old.

Oooo look I'm in the reflection. Best. Place. Ever

Oooo look I’m in the reflection. Best. Place. Ever

I can’t believe I am doing this.

Right now I am feeling a mix of excited and traumatised which are two really weird emotions to be feeling at. the. same. time.

Holy crap.

As I type this I am sipping on a steaming hot cup of coffee and eating what I think must be the world’s best bacon and egg roll (it has hollandaise on it people). To top it all off this is all taking place ringside to what is arguably one of the best views in the world: the airport.

Yup, the airport.

Some people like mountains, others like the sea, but me baby, I like the airport. I’m not sure what it is that stirs me so but it goes straight to my soul. It’s not just that I’m excited about going away. Airports rock my world even if I’m just dropping folks off or picking them up. Yeah I know. I’m weird like that.

Best every bacon and egg muffn

Best every bacon and egg muffn

For me, the airport represents a world of possibilities. It reminds me that the little plot I’m currently occupying is just that, a teeny tiny little plot and not the centre of the universe after all. It refreshes and invigorates me and gives me a thirst for life.

We actually live on the flight path for the local airport so I get to see planes flying over on a regular basis. I LOVE it. Every single one of them makes me smile and I don’t find them to be a bother at all.

Anyway I’m faffing on about airports when what I really wanted to talk about is the fact that I’m going on a holiday (woohoo!) but that it involves me being away from monkey for 2 whole weeks (boo).

I think it’s pretty fair to say that emotionally I’m like an unstable explosive at the moment. Freaking traun wreck. For the past few days I’ve been racing between feeling excited to see my brother and my friends to feeling traumatised about leaving my monkey. Boing, boing, back and forth, I’ve been picking up quite a pace.

I want these in grown up size please.

I want these in grown up size please.

I left in the early hours this morning so we had to do a pretend departure for Monkey last night. I even put my bag in the car to make it seem more real. He’s a cluey kid and wouldn’t have been easily fooled. He’d watched me pack and we’d been talking all day about mummy going on a plane and him staying with Oomah (my mum) and Didee (my aunt). We prepped him so well that he barely batted an eyelid when I left. I was trying so hard to give him a big squeezy hug and he just pushed me away and said “I stay Oomah. Bye, Mummy”.

So good. And sad. But good. And a relief.

Won't be needing one of these baby rooms  for 2 weeks. That should make me happy but instead it made me cray.

Won’t be needing one of these baby rooms for 2 weeks. That should make me happy but instead it made me cray.

I thought I’d cry at that point but I didn’t. The whole thing just felt really surreal. Plus I think I’ve had a mammoth amount of adrenaline coursing through my body this past 24 hours. Kinda makes it hard to feel things.

The tears came though. As I snuck out of the house this morning to get my airport transfer I felt like a naughty schoolgirl sneaking out to see her boyfriend. Pump, pump went the adrenaline. Once on the bus I started to catch up on my blog reading. I started reading this post by one of my blogging friends about the earthquake in her home town in the Phillipines last week (they’ve had thousands of aftershocks – weird) and promptly burst into big silent tears when I got to the bit where she is worrying about her son. It brought all of my fears to the surface and all of a sudden where I had been otherwise numb there was the biggest most overwhelming feeling ever. It was like someone was sucking the breath out of me and all I could think was What have I done?.

Well what I’ve done is leave Monkey with people who love him who are also very competent at looking after children. When my mum and aunt (who have raised 5 children between them) return home at the end of the week Monkey will go and stay with his dad, a very competent and loving father. It will all be ok. We will Skype and he will see me and we’ll blow kisses and it will all be fine. It’s not the moon, it’s just North America and worst comes to worst I can be back in 24 hours. I’m not THAT far away.

Besides, as I keep reminding myself, he’s 2. He will not even remember this when he is older.

So I put my head back and practised my deep breathing. Things were going to be ok.

And hey, I can’t say I’m not excited about two weeks of sleep ins. I mean, come on, I’m no fool. It’s the bomb.

36 thoughts on “It’s here. It’s happening. Two whole weeks without my awesome 2 year old.

  1. Wow, 2weeks? ! We are planning a girls long weekend trip and even that feels like 1000 of different emotions at once (sleep ins yay, no cuddles buu, adult talks without interruptions yay, no cute chats about Chuggington buu… ) so can’t imagine how much is going on when facing 2 weeks! I hope you enjoy it! P.S. I like airports too!

  2. Oooh…so excited for you!! Where are you headed in North America?
    I know this is/will be tough…first big separation from your little one. Trust me – taking an adult vacation (be it a weekend or a week) away from your kids once a year is a wonderful thing. My husband and I did it every year when our kids were little. I believe it was crucial to keeping our marriage healthy. You’ve earned a fun trip away Rachael! And the little monkey will be waiting for you with a giant smile when you get back home!
    Bon voyage! xoxo nancy

    • Argh Nancy your message made me teary!!! Told you. I’m an emotional train wreck!!! I’m going to SF for a couple days and then a bunch of us have a villa booked in the Napa Valley for my friend’s 30th. Then off to Vancouver for a few days, then Fort Collins, CO and them home. I have a bunch of other friends from my hometown also travelling over and I get to see one of my brothers who lives there so it IS quite exciting. Thanks so much for your lovely message xx

  3. Wow! I’m so excited for you! I had a hard time with overnight stays, I can’t imagine 2 weeks! But the flip side is that it is so healthy for you! You will come back and be recharged! It’s good to be able to get away and Monkey is in great hands! Have fun! And I love SF!! I haven’t been in years and years, well, since I moved back to Texas!

  4. Your trip sounds fabulous enjoy every minute of it, I would if I ever had the chance to go. I love my kids and I would miss them but boy would I have a good time too! As I’m sure you will! Can’t wait to read your next few posts and hear all about it.

  5. I hope you have a wonderful trip. I have said a prayer for your safety and your family’s safety while you are gone and will try to remember to do so these next two weeks! Have a wonderful time and rejuvenate! I have never been to California, and I hope you can post some pictures maybe when you get back! ENJOY!

  6. I share your love of airports…how funny! Always have, and I love imagining where airplanes are headed when they fly overhead. I am like a little kid, always getting almost as excited as my kids when we see one. Its exactly as you said, the possibility and the remembering how small we are. i think that is my fascination with nightly star gazing too, helps me to know that my troubles are pretty minute in the big scheme. Have a fantastic time! Your Monkey is in wonderful hands!

  7. Two weeks! Woohoo! 🙂
    Your monkey will be just fine. If anything, your reunion with him will be just that much sweeter!
    I also share your love for traveling, but not so much with airports. I always get so nervous and anxious before a flight that I always end up seeing that anxiousness manifest itself in physical illness. I feel sick on the way to the airport, sick in the airport, but the the second I’m on the plane and in the air, I feel fine. Weird, isn’t it?
    Hope you have a great trip! If you’re ever on the East Coast of Canada, look me up! 🙂

  8. You are going to have so much fun! I can understand though. When I was at the hospital with Teddy Bear I missed Crazy Pants SO much. I cried when I got home and hugged him.

  9. Hahaah didn’t mean to make you cry! But I understand, I even cry when my kids sleep over at my SIL’s house for a weekend and she lives 45 minutes away! 🙂 Just have fun, and many say that the best time to travel alone is when the kids are young because yes, they won’t remember it later. Just have fun!

  10. Have a lovely holiday! I can’t imagine how worried you must have been to leave Monkey but I really hope you and him are okay and enjoy yourselves, even though your not together. It’s important you have a break xx

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