Why I can’t be a supermodel and clothes don’t look as nice once you try them on.

Well then, today I am going to surprise you. Today, I am not going to write a really long post.


Today, I am going to let some pictures do the talking for me. Just a little bit. I will talk too but less. Nothing like mixing it up a little eh? And maybe all you rockin’ followers who sigh and say too long when you see my other posts will actually stop by and read! Hurrah! That’s not why I’m doing it but hey, it would be a cool bonus.

So today when I was going to my favourite ever coffee shop I parked at a different end of the street than usual, so I had the absolute pleasure of passing this clothes shop. Look at what I saw in the window.

I know, let's display these clothes on really unrealistic poses.

Shoulders back and head up lovely

I know, let's display these clothes on really unrealistic poses.

I know, let’s display these clothes on really unrealistic poses.










Do you see what I see?

I see two life-sized dolls standing in poses I’ve never seen a human stand in before. Except for perhaps a super model and only briefly. A flexible super model.

(oh and yes I also see a big whack of sunshine across one of the pics – couldn’t seem to get the pic without it I’m afraid)

I thought it was all a bit weird so I snapped the pics and moved on.

I got to thinking about the photos later in the day and I started wondering if it was humanly possible to even pull these poses. So I had a crack at it. Here’s what it looked like.

Hips forward, shoulders back AND thrust

Hips forward, shoulders back AND thrust

Do you like how I even put on the scarf and the big sunnies to look more the part? I'm too cool.

Do you like how I put on the scarf and the sunnies to look the part? I’m too cool.










This pose was reeeeeeeeeally awkward. As you can see here I didn’t get it right but I’m certain I would have if I hadn’t had to twist the shoulder to take the picture. I can tell you now that this was not comfortable in any way, shape or form AT ALL. No one EVER just hangs around standing like this.

Shoulders back, titties out

Shoulders back, titties out

Oh dear. Words fail me.

Oh dear. Words fail me.










This pose was actually the more difficult of the two. You can’t see it well here as I am facing front on to the mirror so basically I stuffed it up. But my shoulders are back as far as they can go and at one point I got a little nerve niggle in the back. It wasn’t good. You can tell how far back I am arching as my “six pack” is protruding nicely. I know what you are going to say. Sexy. That’s why I couldn’t help but post the pictures.

So what was the purpose of all this? What did I learn from the today? Well, a number of things actually.

1. It’s unlikely that I’ll ever become a supermodel as I can’t do the poses without wincing (yes, all 5’2″ of me learnt that JUST today)

2. The reason clothes never look the same on you as they do in the window of the shop is that the life-sized dolls aren’t very life like at all.

3. A scarf and a big pair of glasses does an ok job at hiding your face (good to know for when fame hits for being a pretend supermodel on the internet).

4. It’s far far far far far too easy to make a dick of yourself on the internet these days.



52 thoughts on “Why I can’t be a supermodel and clothes don’t look as nice once you try them on.

  1. Hahaha Have you ever done a google search on the new ‘pose’ craze called ‘the awkward lean’? Funny as! So many people do it on facey, Check it out….as for you, this dead set made me LOL. Hilarious!!!

    • bahahahaha I hadn’t heard about that but it bears a striking similarity to one of the pics (eeerrr not of me but of the dolls). So funny! I was being all hip and stuff and didn’t even know it! Glad you enjoyed my post 🙂

  2. This was hilarious! Designers don’t just want a thigh gap, they want stick insects so their clothes are what people notice, not the nice shape under it.

  3. This is probably the best thing I will see all day, bar none.
    And I thought my wordpress friend-love for you couldn’t grow any more. I was wrong. I love a girl who can have a go at herself and just doesn’t give a shit. You’re awesome!

  4. That’s really funny!! My wife and I have long had a running “inside” joke between us that runway models are an entirely different species. Being in NYC, we get to see photo shoots on the streets regularly, and both of us always take pictures and share them whenever we can, because they’re just not normal shaped!

  5. Very funny. Number 4 I try to avoid but can’t seem to manage it come a Friday and a couple of haufs! I’m just hoping you’ve not planted a seed of thought!! You look good in the pics even if the poses were difficult. Must get a pair of those shades. 🙂 x

    • Bahahahaha well at least I give good something 😉 Bought the scarf in Milan a couple of years back. Figured I should probably get a fashion item given it was Milan and all and a scarf was all I could afford!

  6. This is so true!! Them mannequins are always ridiculous! I always end up disappointed as the clothes never look the same on me, so I am so glad someone else realises they are so un-lifelike too! I always find they are too silly or too impractical!! I think you did a great job at posing! xxx

  7. Sooo funny lol 🙂 and those fake models in the store are ridiculous! Real woman have curves. And also flaws we want to hide. The fake model doesn’t have to worry about her nips getting cold and protruding through her shirt. She doesn’t have to worry about strategically placed shorts so no one catches a glimpse of the hail damage to the upper thigh. Sigh….I bet if the plastic model squeezed out a baby or two she would be dressed differently lol

  8. Pingback: Postcard Exchange: New South Wales, Australia | mummyshymz

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