I’m not a big co-sleeper. I’ve done it and still do it on occasion but I am far from its biggest fan. In fact, after every co-sleeping event I usually declare that I won’t ever be doing that again thank you very much and my son gets a stern but loving lecture on how he needs to sleep in his bed while mummy sleeps in her bed.
Anyway, last night it was so freaking cold that when Monkey woke for the second time at just after 4am I just didn’t have the heart to say no. He held his little hands out to me and said in the cutest sad voice ever “This way mummy, this way” and I did not even hesitate.
Boy did I regret it once we got back to my bed. Co-sleepers: I don’t know how you do it. Get off those crazy pills and get your sleep back*! Sheesh.
Here are the reasons I hate co-sleeping:
- The kid never goes straight back to sleep. Never. You think they’ll want to as it’s all nice and cosy in your bed but they don’t. Last night we were awake for 2 hours before Monkey was sufficiently exhausted to take a wee nap (only 40mins. Don’t get excited).
- He flings around and kicks and hits me. I don’t think that one needs further elaboration. It sucks.
- He attempts to sleep on top of me. This isn’t fun. I’m terrified of rolling over and flinging him off the bed so even if he sleeps, I don’t.
- He turns the light on and off and the fan on. It’s winter and I’m don’t sleep in my disco shoes. Enough said.
- He constantly touches my eyelids and strokes my hair. This is what happens when I’m faking sleep in the hope that he will copy.
Last night the only thing that worked was for me to get up and tell him he was going back into his cot. Noooooooo he wailed. Ok then, well GO. TO. SLEEP. (that wasn’t yelling, that was the mummy stern voice btw). So he did. For a whole 40 mins. It was 6am.
Today I bought a heater for his bedroom. Not having any of that baloney again.
*I am in no way judging those who choose to co-sleep. Each to their own I say. Whatever works for you in your parenting journey. I simply DO NOT UNDERSTAND why you do it. It really does suck.