I’ve spent pretty much the whole day going over in my head which post I might resurrect from my drafts next. In the end I decided that I might as well capitilise on my foul mood and write about something that really pisses me off.
So it was either dickhead highway drivers OR the idiot that suggested I was a man hater because I am a single mum. Well I dealt with the idiot and posted that here but to put it bluntly, I’m still pissed off, so the hopeless highway drivers are going to get it.
So when I say highway, I mean one with multiple lanes (2+) going in the same direction just to be clear. Otherwise most of this won’t make any sense. So here is what they do. Have a look and see if it’s you.
- They hang out in the fast last lane. The fast line is the one closest to the middle of the road. It is for people going fast funnily enough. So if you want to go faster than the guy in front of you then you can pop into the fast lane and overtake them. But once done you should slip back into the cruising lane. It’s not very hard. If you stay in the fast lane and hang out you are going to piss people off. Guaranteed. And no, I don’t care if you are going the “speed limit”. You may even be going 5 over but it still doesn’t matter. You are going to piss someone off. Why? Well,
a) your speedo is probably out so it is highly likely you aren’t going the speed limit even though you think you are; and
b) some people actually drive faster than the limit. Quelle horreur!
Reality check: this isn’t your problem.
Also you are not saving the world if you don’t let them pass you. In fact, you are putting everyone in more danger as they will now be angry at you for blocking them and there’s nothing better than an angry fast driver is there?
Just trust me and get out of that lane.
- They don’t let the mergers in. If a car is merging onto the freeway from an on ramp pull into the next lane and let them in for fuck’s sake. As soon as you pass the merging area you can pull back into the cruising lane again. All good. And I bet it didn’t even cost you 1 second of your overall trip time. How bizarre.
- They pace the slow lane while in the fast lane. So this means you get into the overtaking (fast) lane and you sit there at pretty much the same speed as the person you are supposed to be overtaking. Look back at point one buster. That lane is to get in and then get out of. If you don’t want to go fast enough to overtake the other car then you stay behind it pure and simple. Capiche?
- They insist on driving too close to the car in front of them. Do you know what happens if that car brakes? You go right through their rear windscreen. If you want to overtake them, then do that. If you can’t, then wait for your opportunity and then do it. It’s not rocket science. Riding their arse in the hope that they will speed up is dangerous and seriously isn’t going to help you. Just get back and let everybody breathe a bit dude.
I used to make a lot of these driving mistakes when I was younger so don’t feel bad if you read this and you realise it’s you. Just change it and make everyone’s life that little bit better.
And on that note, I’m off to meditate. I think today of all days I really do need to just chill the fuck out.
- Drivers not abiding by the ‘keep right, pass left’ rule may be in for some huge fines: Joan Quigley (nj.com)
- What’s wrong with middle-lane hogging? (bbc.co.uk)
- Driving too slow in fast lane could lead to ticketing (wtvr.com)
- Left-lane slowpokes face fines under new Florida law (jacksonville.com)