“Ah, I see now. Because you are a single mom all men are shit?”

stupid peopleI had this delightful little line thrown at me in an online conversation recently. The conversation was about abortion so if you can see how this comment is relevant then please, fill me in. It was over a month ago and I’m still trying to figure it out.

It all happened around that time of the filibuster in Texas. Remember that? People were getting their pro life/pro choice swords out and waving them about for all to see. Everyone had an opinion. Personally I don’t see that arguing about abortion is going to get anywhere. I don’t know what the stats are but I reckon that the vast majority never switch teams in this little debate.

Anyway, on this day when I first commented on the blog in question I didn’t set out to argue one way or another. Of course the conversation spiralled into pro life/pro choice and I ended up in the enviable position of defending my opinion. That’s all well and good. I’m up for a spar with anyone if the mood takes me. As long as people fight fair and are intelligent in their comments then I’m all for it. A little bit of debate keeps the brain active and healthy. So in one of my responses I happened to mention that I was a single parent. And that’s when that phrase came out.

“Ah, I see now. Because you are a single mom all men are shit?”

Notice that I’m calling it a phrase and not a question. I’m doing that deliberately. It looks like a question because there is a question mark at the end of it but it’s clear that it is not. How do I know this? Well look at the words that come before the “question”. They are expressing clarity and understanding. The words that followed were a statement of belief from this guy, they weren’t a question.

At that point I took my gloves off and threw them in the ring. I don’t spar with dirty players.

But it led me to ponder this single mom = man hater comment. Where the hell did it even come from?

I turned to my trusty friend Google for some more info and it is apparently a thing. I have no idea what to say about this except that it makes me sad. It’s like saying that homosexual men are paedophiles (actually that’s worse but my point is about the generalisation, not the accusation). It’s an unwarranted leap that has happened somewhere along the line and then been passed along like a Chinese whisper.

Apparently non single mums can be man haters too but in that case they are carpet munching feminists. I know this as I did a Google image search for the term ‘man hater’ and came up with lots of pics like this:

man hater 3

oooook then

man hater 4

See what I mean?

There are pictures so that must make it true right? Some people are simply stupid and delusional and there’s nothing you can do to help them.

Am I a man hater? No. Am I an idiot low life douche hater? Yeah well hate is a strong word but let’s just say I’m not a fan.

Don’t worry, it’s not gender specific. I don’t go much on idiot low life chicks either. And don’t get me started on stupid people.

stupid people







PS. Yes I unfollowed the stupid person’s blog.

46 thoughts on ““Ah, I see now. Because you are a single mom all men are shit?”

  1. Hahaha! Enjoyed this!! So true. It’s up there with the ‘never get married’, ironically it is always a married person telling you this 😉

  2. So true! Why do people still call it a ‘debate’ when it comes to pro-choice/life anyway? You are so right. A debate implies that someone from the other side will be convinced to change their mind. That just will not happen. I feel the same way about U.S. gun laws and same sex marriage ‘debates’. Everyone is pretty set in their views on these things.
    I really like that last cartoon you posted. I may just print that out and hang it on the wall next to my desk 🙂

    • haha the stupid people one? Yeah that is awesome hey. Sums up how I feel often! 😉 And yes, I agree. There are many debates where the feeling will never change no matter how many conversations you have. I think it’s still good for there to be public discourse though as it is the new generation that brings with it the wave of change (so with same sex marriage for example). That’s how we’ve gotten this far in the first place.

  3. Seriously? Firstly the reply has absolutely nothing to do with abortion (in my eye, at least). I can’t even see how it can defend either the pro-life or pro-abortion side. Secondly, just because you’re a single mom, doesn’t mean you hate men. Furthermore, there are plenty of women who are in a relationship that feel very resentful towards men and make sweeping generalizations about them.
    There is so much hate and spite out there with regards to so many situations; it’s saddening :(.
    And whatever your opinion on abortion is, I’m sure it has nothing to do with how you feel about men or the fact that you are a single mom.

    • Exactly! That’s why I didn’t state my opinion in this post. I just didn’t see it as relevant to the ridiculous comment that was made which is what this was really all about! It really is saddening. I started to do some research when I was writing this post and some of the preconceived ideas out there are scary. I feel a follow up post coming on! lol

  4. Haha I have gotten into the same pro-life/pro-choice debate before, and it can get ugly. I tend to be pretty open minded, and find that when I’m hit with someone who is very closed minded and stuck in their ways, it just isn’t worth the time (though I really do love a good debate. Nothing better than a good back and forth so long as it doesn’t turn to mud slinging).

    And the whole man hater thing…seriously? What a cop out. Clearly that was a “phrase” used because they had no other constructive argument for the debate lol.

    It seems to be a trend, this man-hater thing. Just look at any sitcom lately. The women are always hating on how their husbands act. It’s what people consider “the norm” now. Bat shit crazy!

    • It totally is bat shit crazy. Those feminist pics I included are done tongue in cheek sure but it also scared me how the whole man hating thing was there full force.

      Yeah I hate the mud slinging. This person didn’t know me from a bar of soap and I found his comment to be dirty fighting and what I would consider to be a personal attack which just isn’t necessary. Disagree with me – yes why not! But make a personal attack on me and I’m out of there. I was quite pleased with myself actually as in times gone by I would have fired right up and let him have it but it just wasn’t worth it. I walk away from the dirty fights now. I’ve got better things to do with my energy!!

  5. Nope, don’t know how it’s relevant either. Probably was looking for a way out, so decided to try and miscredit you. Dirty fighter. I’ve had it done to me in face-to-face “debates”, even when I refused to argue. Blech.

    Loved the awesome e-card about the stupid people^^ Mind if I use it as a wall decoration?

  6. Some people divide everyone into two groups — those who would be interested in a quickie and those who would not, and they feel perfectly free to judge and criticize anyone not in the latter group. After all, not a future partner, no sucking up required. Any woman with political views must not be in the first group. Therefore, any brain-dead insult is perfectly appropriate. Lots of resentment there. Just a theory I’m currently chewing. When I’m not chewing carpet or the bones of men past. 🙂

  7. I appreciate equal opportunity haters. I’ve been called prejudiced online before based on threads that had nothing to do with race and it left me baffled. I hate stupidity, laziness and ignorance no matter the race or gender. Geez.

  8. So funny. I do see a lot of men hating amongst my single mom friends. It’s really unfortunate as it just adds to the stereotype so to speak. Either way, I can’t exactly see how it connects to an abortion debate. (Which btw, I suppose I am one of those few that changed sides many many years ago. It can happen, typically I see it with young women going from believing what they were taught growing up to researching and learning for themselves.)

    • Yeah some women end up really bitter which is awful for everyone involved. Happiness in life doesn’t go that well with bitterness. And yes I do think that some people will change their position and that why it is important that their is public discourse about topics like these. I guess I meant that I don’t think that someone will change their position in a little one on one debate. That’s the sort of thing that happens gradually over time. My position hasn’t really changed since I was young however it has moderated a lot since I have had a child of my own which I think is interesting.

      • Motherhood has changed my view on ALOT of topics. It’s kind of bizarre really. I’m wondering how much of it is affected by having all daughters too. Hmm. Food for thought. 🙂

  9. I don’t really see how you being a single mother makes you a man hater. Nor how does it correlate to your view on abortion.

    I’ve written about abortion and I was emailed by someone in Texas who told me I was dumb. At that point he ended the “debate.”

  10. Great post. I think sometimes when people don’t know what to say in a heated debate, they spew stupidity. They should just keep their mouth shut. Don’t lose your passion for these causes just because of people like this guy.

    • Thanks! hehe yeah I agree, if stupid wants to come out then it is mouth closing time. And don’t worry, I think I’m too much of an opinionated little fire cracker to let a tool like this hold me back! 😉

  11. Pingback: 4 Things Crappy Highway Drivers Do to Tick Me Off | mummy flying solo

  12. 🙂 it is an interesting thing that i came to know about your blog from the very same conversation between you too. I totally agree with whatever u said here. I know you played fair. I have never seen someone comment with such a dignity and strong stand. Do not think too much about it.
    That statement was from a guy who told women need no logic to argue.
    I then thought he was talking about himself. I respected him for his posts but this conversation with you took most of that back.
    keep rocking. 🙂

    • Oh wow I got goosebumps reading this comment. Thank you so much for taking the time to post it and reinforcing for me that I behaved appropriately. I was sure that I had and had done nothing to provoke the slagging off. I was disappointed in his reaction too to be honest and as you would have seen I told him that. Thank you so much for this comment! How bizarre that you found me this way!

  13. Pingback: 30 Day Meditation Challenge Update – Week 1 | mummy flying solo

  14. Pingback: Postcard Exchange – Featured Postcard! “Australia” | Máthair Fiona

Leave me a comment! The empty box is feeling so lonely.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s